Why Can’t I Switch Off?

Why can’t I switch off – the darker side of passion and drive

Sometimes,  new clients who work in media, comms or the PR industry, come to me asking, “why can’t I switch off.” For many, they feel like they are living in their head. Thoughts are constantly churning, whirling like the spin cycle of a washing machine. This is sometimes accompanied by feeling afraid as if something awful might happen at any moment. A common complaint is waking up early in the morning and being unable to get back to sleep. Others confess that they feel like they are on a relentless treadmill and, rather than settle down and relax, they always have to be doing something. More often than not, that something is work.

Pretty much all of these people tell me about the passion and drive they have for their work.  However, there are a few who are starting to feel numb, emotionally distanced from the career they once loved.

So, why can’t I switch off?

So, what’s going on? If this resonates for you, why can’t you switch off?  Let’s look at three of the most common reasons.

Too much work

Sometimes, it’s simply because you’ve taken too much on. I get it, I really do. I have been there. It doesn’t have to be all work, either. Perhaps you’re caring for parents, have a family of your own and are in the middle of moving house or a big DIY project. All these alongside your professional work! It’s no wonder you are feeling like this.

One of the sure signs of this being a problem is when your mantra becomes, “I’ll just get through this day/week/month” and everything will be ok again.

The good thing about too much work, is that there are practical answers. I can work with you to create systems, processes and plans that can help you through this period, and guard against it in future. Alternatively, there may need to be conversations with line managers or account directors and we can guide you through that.

Work is too important

Of course work is important. It is what pays our bills, as well giving us a sense of satisfaction and self-esteem.  However, trouble starts when our work  starts to fulfil all or most of our needs.

We have nine emotional needs that need to be met, in balance. Those needs are:

1. Security
2. Control
3. Community
4. Status
5. Connection
6. Privacy
7. Achievement
8. Attention
9. Meaning and Purpose

If our work in PR  is fulfilling almost if not all of these, then it becomes extremely important to us. That means we’ll put it first. We may have little downtime, or begrudge the time we spent away from it. This is where passion and drive take a darker turn. If your work becomes your whole meaning and purpose, you send up like a character from Succession.

Getting these needs met from multiple sources is not only healthier, but it spreads the risk. If anything happens to your role, it wouldn’t mean that all your fulfilment would disappear.

Anxiety

Not being able to switch off is a common symptom of anxiety. This could be a result of you having too many things going on in your personal life as well as business.  Anxiety often climbs after life crises. Menopause and physical issues may contribute too. Trauma, even incidents from the past, can wreak havoc and produce this restlessness that won’t go away.

Again, this can be helped. I share tools and techniques that work to calm and soothe anxiety. I’ll explain how to stop it from ruling your life, or preventing you doing things. If panic attacks are an issue, we can deal with that. Sleep will definitely be addressed as it’s so important, and a risk factor for depression. Without sleep, we can’t function properly, and both us and our business will suffer.

Coaching or therapy to help you switch off

If any of the above sound like you, don’t panic. I have helped so many cients regain a sense of calm and balance in their lives through coaching or therapy with me. If you’d like to find out how I can help, contact me here.