26 Nov 5 Top Tips To Develop Your Charisma
How to Draw People to You
Susan Heaton Wright of Executive Voice discusses ways to help you become more charismatic and compelling, whether that’s at work or play.
I have met and observed a number of really charismatic people in my time. They are not necessarily beautiful but they have positive energy around them that makes you notice them, and makes you DRAWN to them. Of course there are people that are born charismatic! You only need to remember fellow class members at school who stood out. However, for most of us, we need to work at this. Here are my top tips!
Positive body language
If you have an open, inviting body language rather than a closed one (arms folded) or aggressive one, you are more likely to be relaxed and as a consequence, more engaging and magnetic to other people.
If a person has good eye contact with you: that is that they maintain eye contact but don’t “Eye ball” you, you feel a connection with that person. There is something very enticing when a person looks into your eyes and you are drawn to them as well as feeling trust. If you consider people that are ‘Shifty’ one of their traits is that their eyes are ‘shifty’ or looking round rather than engaging you. Of course it is impossible to maintain eye contact all through a conversation as we naturally look away when we are thinking about something, but going back to maintain eye contact remains a powerful charismatic trait.
Charismatic people aren’t all about jazz hands, dominating conversations or loud voices; they are aware of others and [give the impression] that they value other people’s opinions. I remember as an opera student looking after the great conductor, Sir Simon Rattle. He always asked me how my studies were going on; expected an answer to every question. I felt so special and he was genuinely interested. People who have met Bill Clinton say that he asks a question; looks them in the eye and they feel totally drawn to him.
Take your time when you move; one of the most charismatic people I met was the Admiral of the Fleet of the Canadian Navy (really!) Instead of rushing around, he took his time; his body language was relaxed; head up and engaged. He noticed everyone, and they noticed him. This was at a large conference where he entered from the back of the room to go onto the stage. The room stopped as he slowly walked up to the stage; everyone noticed him. At no time was he showing off or ‘milking’ the moment, but he was playing his role as chief of a national navy and didn’t rush.
No one is charismatic when they are exhausted or stressed. When you are exhausted or stressed your face and body reflect this. You are no longer GIVING energy out, your body language is closed (uninviting) and your eye contact isn’t direct. If you need to feel relaxed and energetic: make sure you have a chance to warm up relaxing your shoulders and neck (in particular), stretch your arms out whilst taking some deep breaths to energise yourself, smile AND make sure you aren’t dehydrated by drinking plenty of water.
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